MR. DOOL


The Jam, “Town Called Malice” – Live 1982
March 10, 2011, 8:16 pm
Filed under: Music, Video | Tags: , , , ,

 

Whatever, just click through and watch on YouTube.

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The Secret Diary of Oprah Winfrey

This week it was revealed that in the April issue of O Magazine, Oprah included five hand-written pages of her personal diary entries from pivotal moments throughout her life, including the first time she was asked out on a date and behind-the-scenes notes from her experience filming The Color Purple.  And for the Oprah superfans out there (I’m looking at you, Travolta), 11 more diary pages (!!!!!!) will be made available with the purchase of the O Mag iPad app.

But now, thanks to a well-placed source within the Oprah camp — we’ll call him Kate Gerkus — we here at MrDool.com can exclusively offer you another batch of excerpts from Winfrey’s personal diaries.  We aren’t proud of what we had to do to get Kate Gerkus to hand these over, but we did it for you.  Enjoy.

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Smoking on the Cover

Ask Adele, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem or any high schooler: you can only be so cool without a cig in hand.  Sorry, Surgeon General, but you’re kind of a square.

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Style on Film: Blame it on Fidel
March 7, 2011, 11:55 pm
Filed under: Movies, Style Inspiration | Tags: , , ,

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“My dog is on Facebook,” Mr. Estreich said, with a contemptuous snort.

Alex Williams’ piece in the New York Times about the Native Society – an exclusive social club for those born exclusively in New York – is a master class in how to include bitchy details diguised as reporting, in the grand NYT truffle fry tradition.  Here, some of my favorite excerpts:

  • “It’s not about who you were born, or what you were given, but what you’ve made of yourself,” explained one member, Alexa Winner, a 22-year-old stylist and fashion designer.
  • Like Zen monks marinating on the essence of nothingness, members tried to put their finger on that ineffable quality that makes them worthy of membership.
  • To Ms. Winner (“like winner, not a loser,’” she said, spelling her name), it was about a level of refinement and learning. She looked ready to accept the 1957 Oscar for best actress, in a flowing gold Maggie Norris Couture gown and chinchilla stole.
  • As guests mingled over champagne, the ash-haired Mr. Estreich, with his prominent jaw and above-it-all smile, worked the room with the practiced suaveness of a junior Sirio Maccioni, his boyish build (he could pass for 18) swimming a bit in his banker-ish gray pinstripe suit.
  • She had been the kind of city kid who summered on the fjords of Norway and sipped Côtes du Rhône at sidewalk cafes with her parents at 15. She was aghast to find fellow students sucking back Jell-O shots and dressing up for “pimps and hos” theme parties.
  • “My dog is on Facebook,” Mr. Estreich said, with a contemptuous snort.
  • No one talks about the rituals at those events. “That’s where we burn lambs,” joked Freddie Fackelmayer, a member who wears his hair in a dramatic swoop of forelocks — call it the Fop Flop — familiar from a thousand Ralph Lauren ads.


Seven Videos Featuring Ill-Advised Rapping, Underwear and/or Bad Choreography That Are Way More Entertaining Than “Born This Way”

If you have a computer or know Ryan Seacrest, you may have heard that Lady Gaga’s new video, “Born This Way,” premiered today.  But, you may not have heard that Lady Gaga’s new video sucks (you can watch/listen to it here if you like watching/listening to things that suck (because the song sucks, too, btw, sorry)).

If you’re interested instead in holding on to your reputation as esteemed ladies and gentlemen of taste and class, save yourselves from seven minutes of faux-empowerment BS and review this handy list of major motifs in this latest opus from Her Ladiness, each paired with a much more entertaining video that covers the same ground.

1.) Nonsensical Spoken Word Introductions with Allusions to a God Complex

“This is the manifesto of Mother Monster,” Lady Gaga narrates in a husky voice.  OK.

Better:

2.) Writhing in underwear

The new race-within-a-race created by the Mother Monster knows no prejudice, except maybe a hatred toward pants.

Better:

3.) Bad choreography

You say “dancing,” Little Monsters; I say “vaguely rhythmic gesturing punctuated by spins and pelvic thrusts.”

Better:

4.) An ill-advised rap verse.

Big ups to Cholas, the “Orient,” and the disabled!

Better:

5.) Humping.

Lady humps this guy for awhile.

Better:

6.) An unexpected single tear in close-up.

Weep with her.

Better:

7.) 7+ minutes of Lady Gaga

You have quite some time to absorb the idea that this is, in fact, the way she was born.

Better:

BONUS BETTER:

For visible underwear, nonsensical spoken word intro, humping and bad choreography (not to mention avant garde fashions, futuristic haircuts, sexually ambiguous back-up dancers, synthesizers, messages of empowerment, vague sci-fi references, pandering to a gay audience and a multi-culti cast of social misfits):

So basically Lady Gaga is the 2011 version of Klymaxx.  Just let that marinate for a second.